"Wow! All this for me? I hope you did better than you did at Christmas."

"Wow! A Redskins diaper cover? Just what I always wanted to crap in!"

"Presents? Good. Cake? Good! Boob? Good!! Birthdays? Yeh...I like 'em."

"I've been working out. Can you tell?"

"Sigh...only 237 more to go."